In the Spirit of Baubo "She Who Reveals Her Vulva, Tefnut "the Goddess of Moisture", and the Ancestral Witch Mothers
For the past few months, I’ve been in a sensitive space with the Ancestral Mothers who knew the power plants have in the lives of female-bodied people. Through colonial imperialism, there has been and there still is a force for female-bodied people to abandon the wisdom within their bodies (in this case, the womb and endocrine system), and the mysteries of Earth.
Despite this reality, my womb remains my highest compass for introspection and extrospection. It’s in the way I interact with an array of sensations that rise and fall throughout my menstrual cycle.
Similar to the new, waxing, full, and waning phases of the moon; the menstrual cycle has a bleeding, follicular, ovulatory, and luteal phases. I lovingly play with myself in the motions of each phase. In addition to the joy and the spirit of wonder it brings, this interaction supports my practice of natural family planning (fertility awareness method).
Natural family planning is a hormonal-free form of birth control. You can track your fertility through the cervical method, calendar method, and or body temperature method (if you aren't aware of this, Google is your best friend).
Here, we are going to focus on the cervical method. I always inquire where I am in my cycle. Questions like, “What is my cervix doing? Where is it positioned and what kind of moisture is it producing?” It is a practice of walking hand in hand with the ebb and flow of my vaginal waters. Who knew a birth control method could be so juicy?
Consequentially, I began to rev up my work with the Dark Goddess through the ovulatory (full moon), luteal (waning), and bleeding (dark to new moon) of my cycle.
Pregnancy was not something I wanted. So I knew this would be the best time to speak to my body.
Right after ovulation, the luteal phase became a space for me to revere the Ancestral Mothers who worked with plants to avoid pregnancy. This part of the menstrual cycle is kin to the waning moon. The waning moon is a beautiful time to remove anything you do not want.
The bleeding phase became a container for me to celebrate renewal and success in stamping my CHOICE.
Through this way of honoring my body, I cultivated higher states of sexuality…
Heart-opening and veil-lifting orgasms that are never-ending.
Orgasms that involuntarily brought me to prayer.
I embraced irrationality.
The second half of my cycle grew to be where I carry on in jubilee, even while in the fallow of not conceiving a child. It is the celebration of power over my womb.
In the wake of abortion bans and the potential restrictions on contraceptives, I claimed my womb as sovereign and myself as its divine authority...
I remembered my inner child being drawn to abortifacient plants (thanks to my mother having Dr. Llaila Afrika’s books lying around. Now I'm thinking that no matter how much baggage an influence has... No matter how much misinformation about the female body is spread, the Dark Goddess can never be contained). I held candlelit rituals in the forest, contemplating the allyship between plants and wombs.
At some point, the force of replacing intuition with logic, practicality, and the American system of legislature came over me. I ended up exploring hormonal birth control pills (Yes! Like, really exploring contraceptives out of not only a perceived need but curiosity as well).
It felt safer, initially. Birth control pills felt responsible. It was a relief. “I no longer have to think, am I pregnant”.
I tried to put my practice of magic within femaleness to the side. Eventually, the BC cloud of depression that we are so familiar with came.
And you want to know what else came?
A dry vagina.
Let's take a Goddess break
-Unknown
There is a Kemetic “Goddess of Moisture”. Her name is Tefnut. She is the patroness of rain, dew, sweat, tears, penile, and vaginal fluids.
The impact birth control had on my body wasn't something I could ignore. The impact was dulling. Many OBGYNs say, “Give your body 3 to 6 months to adjust.” That’s 3 to 6 months of depression. Or worse! I am a single mother of 3. I can't afford 3-6 months of depression.
So of course, I gleefully went back to my usual self, into the bosom of the Dark Mothers...Where there are pools of pleasure in living in a female body. I let apprehension around female wisdom be undone. Through reverence, it is the bosom of the Dark Mothers where I found comfort and actualized that REAL sound advice is the embrace of bodily intuition. It's erotic and irrational. If you love this and want to explore it further sign up with me.
Thank you so much,
Dominique
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